Tuesday 22 April 2014

Does being a bouncer affect your social life?

Well that's another one of those questions I've been asked many times over the years.  The short answer is Yes! Of course it does!
Before anyone starts or decides to keep working as a doorman for any length of time you need to remember the strain that comes along with working such late, unsociable hours.  Sure many doormen make the most of it but you do find yourself socializing mostly with people in the same industry as yourself due to lack of options as when you finish work at 04:30 am you're kinda limited for the social aspect and nearly everyone is mortal drunk except for the other people who've just finished work too!   
It's not just the late nights either as making plans for the following day means the mornings are usually a write off too.  So be under no illusions this line of work means you'll be regularly going to bed when its daylight and getting up in the afternoon!
Leading on from this though is the strain and toll being a doorman can take on your relationships too, I'm 35 and still single with no kids and although I can't blame it all on the doors it has certainly been a major part of why I'm still on my own!   Sometimes it's ok when you start dating someone and they don't mind you being a doorman, but quite often girls realize quickly that you're gonna see and speak to, other girls!   Shock and horror there and the questions begin, only once have I ever dated a girl who never questioned me about the doors and wow, I'd got so used to having to answer questions that when they didn't come I almost wanted to check she was ok!   Then there's the gossip which, for me at least, has destroyed several relationships I've had, sadly the gossip in my case came from other doormen who knew nothing about my personal life but still decided to stir and spread rumors.  That's something that's happened to more than one doorman I've known, and even after you hear it if you do anything about it at all, you'll be in the wrong, I had to tell one guy I knew "ten men Ben" to come get in the ring or shut his mouth as after a while it kinda gets to you and he'd done it twice over several years causing me no end of hassle talking about stuff he knew nothing about!  
Then there's the stress of taking the job home with you, I knew one doorman who used to watch Disney films to wind down and play Judo to get the aggression out, worked for him but I'm still trying to find my outlet! 
Of course a lot of doormen haven't done the rest of us any favors by being complete and total womanizers their entire career, and yes whilst having a wife and kids at home!  We're not all like that of course but sadly it's a stigma that gets attached to you as long as you do the job, I mean I've had people saying to girls I've dated that because I'm a doorman, it'll never work.  Great thanks for that!  And people wonder why we get angry sometimes, maybe it's just because we hear the same shit all the time regardless of whether we've done anything or not! 

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