There's a bar/club in York called Blue Fly which used to have a gay night on a Friday evening in the club, trouble wise there's very little usually just putting up with the bitchiness which is free flowing believe me! I've never heard as many nasty little comments in my life as when I've stood on the front door there and listened to the conversations going on!
On one night we had a few comical incidents which spring to mind starting with the two straight guys who were just in the bar downstairs. The only toilets are on the top floor of the club so this couple of friends decided to go and use the cubicle to listen to some white powdered angels if you know what I mean! The only trouble was they went in together right when I decided to take a leak and check the toilets. The radios we had were useless but I used it anyway to let the guys downstairs know I'd caught two guys doing drugs and we were coming down, this was more for their benefit than mine, after all they weren't to know that the lads probably hadn't even heard me because they so badly needed servicing. I issued my usual straight out the door guys and we'll leave it at that warning which worked fine, right until they got to that invisible barrier on the front door that makes some people freeze. The first lad looked quite rough if I'm honest and just happy to leave with no fuss but his friend was a bit more well groomed, and cocky.
"What if we weren't doing drugs? What if he's my boyfriend, can we stay then? He ventured.
I didn't even have time to answer before his mate turned round and slapped him in the face!
"We were doing coke!, don't you call me a puff!" He shouted as he stormed off down the street!
Later that evening there was a fight inside, I use the word fight loosely but from what I can now gather was that one of the lads in a group had not liked another talking to some other guys so he'd half punched, half slapped him! Real schoolyard stuff and certainly not doing the stereotype for young gay lads any good made worse when we escorted the offender out. He left fine and walked off but left half a dozen skinny, whiney and just wet lads talking about the situation. One ventured his opinion to me in a high pitched camp voice,
"We'll you don't need to worry about him fella, and his boyfriends still upstairs, he's a bit upset but you don't need to worry about him either, and him, there walking after that guy, you don't need to worry about him either."
Something in my brain actually melted I think as I said
"I don't need to worry about any of you, you're all 8 stone wet through will you just go back inside please!"
Of course to a group of gay guys that was amazing because as one they replied "ooooooo!"
I sighed as they spoke quieter and started to move to the entrance and started to roll myself a cigarette to subdue the irritation when the lad who'd spoken to me noticed and said in a camp sarcastic way,
"Smoking on the door? That's not very professional is it?"
I looked him up and down, he was wearing trainers with camouflage trousers and an Ultimate fighting T-shirt, the only problem was he was literally 8 stone and looked ill, I mean borderline smack head territory!
"Sweetheart you're wearing army trousers and a cage fighting t shirt and clearly have never done either so big bag of shush for you yeah?"
No comment and he went inside!
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