I was working in a club one night and was talking to a colleague when I saw a man approach one of the massive mirrored walls we had and then point and shout at it! We looked at each other in disbelief and I started to look behind the man to see if he had friends watching and he was just messing around but couldn't see anyone.
The man continued to point and seemed to be getting even more aggressive so I approached him and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Mate are you ok?" I said
"This prick here!!!!!" Came the response.
Jesus he was serious! I was slightly open mouthed myself when I said
"Fella. That's a fucking mirror"
The mans face seemed to take a while to register this then he looked at the mirror, then back at me. Then he was slightly open mouthed!
"Come on" I said, gently taking his arm and leading him to the door. He didn't offer any resistance and still looked bewildered all the way outside without saying another word to me!
Mere weeks after this happened I was in the same club in the same spot, this time watching a man come alongside me to a table and proceed to pick up a mini vase with a lit tea light candle in it and try to drink it! I managed to grab his arm in time before the prat burnt himself but he left in an equally confused manner!
One of the funniest fails I saw was when I'd finished at a bar and gone into another for a drink myself, I went to the smoking area having got my drink and started to roll a smoke. Two seconds later a body lands next to me on the floor from an idiot who'd been kicked out of the front door and decided to climb over the massive back fence and drop down! Hurting himself and straight into a doorman. Epic fail but he did spend about five seconds on the premises before I opened the fire gate and pushed him out.
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