But why? But why? But why?

Oh it's such a wonderful moment when a customer repeats the same thing over and over again.  And then does it again. And then again. 

Irritated yet?

Not even close to what we have to put up with sometimes.  There's every type of customer out there but one of the most irritating is the repeating whiner.

I remember being on the front door of a club in Scarborough a year or so ago and the night was drawing to a close when a girl, and I use the word loosely, came staggering to the front door.

At a glance from a distance she looked a mess but up close she looked even worse, makeup smeared over her face and clothes literally hanging off her in places.  She could be excused the staggering a bit because girls wear heels, but she was barefoot and as it had been raining earlier the dirt had started to soak up her tights leaving tide marks!  She must have been in her early 20s but you could easily add a decade on by how caked her face was with makeup. 

"Sorry love not tonight, I think you've had enough to drink already" I called out

"But why?" She mumbled as she approached looking worse and worse with every step.

"Because you've had a lot to drink already" I repeated

"But I don't understand why?"

Sigh, here we go.

Cue ten minutes of "why can't I come in" followed by, "because you're too drunk love"  

The club's smoking area was right next to the front door and even the customers there were getting annoyed with her now, her voice was getting increasingly whiney and high pitched and she nearly fell into the barriers when she turned her head and lost her balance!

I was considering calling the street Marshals to get her to a taxi when someone from the smoking area shouted  "just get lost will you!"

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand smearing lipstick further up her face and screamed "but why!"

Something in my brain snapped and I shouted back

"Because you came to kill Batman!  Now go home!"

And bizarrely, she did.