Wednesday 19 March 2014

Staff, ahem, "training"

I use the term loosely as in the old days staff training consisted of being able to get out of a choke hold or being able to protect your nuts from a cheeky back handed slap from one if your "mates"
In fact at one club I worked at when we closed if anyone shouted "staff training" all the glass collectors would run and hide!  This may have been because we used them as "demonstration models"
The worst I ever saw the choking and the sackings as they're called get was at the Olympics when at around 5am when we were at our quietest 16 of us who were waiting for a car to check had to stand and talk to each other in a large circle in the street so we could keep our eyes on each other for fear of the dreaded sack or choke out, one lad forgot to tap at one point and turned a funny shade of purple. 
Old school doormen are a funny breed and they are similar to a wolf pack with the alpha male being the head doorman and so on, the similarities don't stop there as the fight for top dog or "hardest" used to be commonplace and you could feel the tension in the air as someone would challenge someone else, usually verbally but sometimes things would get a little physical with a play fight turning a little nasty on more than one occasion.  Because I'm not the biggest doorman by any means, at my heaviest I was 85kg or around 13 1/2 stone, I had to choose my battles wisely, after all if you back down you lose face and in the old school mentality that means you lose respect too.  
One time an old school doorman had me in a bear hug, he was a large man and squeezing me smiling knowing it was starting to hurt, "whatcha gonna do now then?" He said.
Well in reality you've few options with a smashing head butt to his face being the best I could see but obviously didn't do!
No instead I used my brain and said quietly in his ear,
"You've proved your point it hurts, Which hip was it you had replaced again?  Be a shame if I got the wrong one when I punch it as hard as I can."
He put me down.

No comments:

Post a Comment